How to Handle Conflict; Start with Clarity
From Center for Creative Leadership, Leading Effectively Newsletter
Conflict — any conflict — can be traced back to one of five root causes. And, without knowing what the conflict is really about, resolution is impossible.
“Whether a conflict is personal, business, social or geopolitical, it stems from different views of facts, methods, goals, values or behaviors,” says CCL’s Harold Scharlatt.
Behaviors. Conflict, of course, can be caused when one person behaves in a way that another person finds unacceptable. Often, generalized and ongoing conflict sets in around behaviors – people often call this a “personality conflict.” For example, one of your direct reports has difficulty working with another. One is gregarious, quick to speak and very animated. The other is low-key, deliberate and reserved. They agree the conflict is just because they have such different personalities.
“It isn’t helpful to focus on personality in a conflict situation,” says Scharlatt. “Instead, hone in on specific behaviors: “He interrupts me in meetings.” “She takes too long to make a decision.” “He is so loud on the phone.” “She doesn’t share information I need.”
You won’t be able to change personalities, but people in conflict can agree to change behaviors or take specific actions.
Facts. The simplest cause of conflict is a difference over facts. Information can be gathered or clarified so that people can agree based on the facts. Of course, in many situations the facts people use for their arguments are debatable (which means the conflict is really about something else).
Methods. Conflict about methods is the next easiest to resolve. People may disagree on how to proceed, even if they agree on the facts and share the same goals. For instance, some in a department may prefer to keep using the current software system; others may argue that new software would be more efficient.
Goals. Without shared agreement about the purpose or outcome of the work among the people involved, conflict is inevitable. Bickering over behavior, facts or methods may mask a disagreement about the goal. Efforts can be made to communicate information, address concerns or persuade, but if the division remains too great, people will eventually leave the situation.
Values. Not surprisingly, differences over values are the most difficult to resolve. When conflict is over deeply held values, finding compromise or even acceptable next steps is a challenge. Agreeing to disagree is often an acceptable solution. If you do aim to shift values, understand that you are taking on a tough, if not impossible, task.
Once you have clarified the root cause or causes with the people involved, you can move ahead more productively. Scharlatt’s suggestions:
- Clarify where you agree. Identify common ground or solutions that are easy for someone to take. This creates productive action and positive feeling before delving into the tougher disagreements.
- Take a problem-solving approach. Be future-focused and avoid blaming. Ask “what if” and open-ended questions as a way to generate possible solutions.
- Agree upon specific next steps. The conflict won’t disappear, but with a step-by-step approach, improvement can be made.
Conflict Is Complex
Conflicts often contain more than one root cause. Consider the array of conflicts around organizational change. On the surface, people might agree that “all the change” is the problem. Dig deeper and ask, what about the change is creating conflict? You may get a range of responses, such as:
- Conflict over facts: “The data we use to make decisions is bad.” Or, “We’re not looking at the right information.”
- Conflict over methods: “We needed to cut costs, but we’ve gone about it wrong.”
- Conflict over goals: “I don’t agree that we need to diversify our approach. Let’s stick with what we do best.”
- Conflict over values: “We can’t keep asking people to work these hours. They are getting burned out.”
- Conflict over behavior: “I can’t get along with my new boss. He micromanages the department.”
Addressing the concerns of one group may be easy; others may require small steps to help manage and ease the conflict — even if full resolution is impossible.
Printed with permission of Center for Creative Leadership
